The world may be at a standstill but life at home with kids continues, and at full speed unfortunately. For those who haven’t worked from home with kids for a while or have never done so, WELCOME!!!! This is not hell but it’s close sometimes lolol! I’m kidding, although I won’t sugar coat it and try to tell you it’s easy and there are rainbows in each diaper if you look closely enough. My baby is 8 months old and I have been working from home (in whatever capacity), since a little before she was born. The frustrating part is that from the outside looking in, people think I sit on my ass all day, sip on Whiteclaw from 9am-11:30pm and then rinse and repeat the next day. To be honest, before I became a mom and a mom who worked from home, I kinda thought the same thing too. Working from home with kids is both a privilege and something not to be taken lightly. On one hand, I feel LUCKY to be able to see every fart, wink, and wiggle that comes out of her everyday, all day.
Getting to be a part of her growth is still surreal. I love that I get to be there for all her milestones, regardless of how silly or small, because to me, they are enormous and beautiful. One time she giggled for the first time for my friends and I didn’t catch it and it DESTROYED me. So yes, I am happy to work from home. On the other hand, you know how during the quarantine what you miss most is that human interaction? Well, I’ve been in quarantine for 8 months, so I’ve gone from missing it to fantasizing about it. The little conversations, the laughs, passing people in the hall or street, stopping for empty yet meaningful conversations and smiles, and if you have kids at home, the autonomy when making the most minute decision. For example, if you’re at work and want to go to lunch...you go to lunch. Or if you’re at work and want to go to the bathroom, you go, by yourself too (wow, what’s that like guys? I forgot). There are several hard things about being a stay at home mom and working from home, but the hardest hands down, is loneliness. I usually keep the TV on in the background just to have some noise because believe it or not, no matter how much you talk to your baby, it’s not going to talk back (not for a while anyway). So during this quarantine... I’m actually having fun. I like looking over and seeing my husband working, it reminds me of being in the office. It’s nice to have another human being close by. Even when it's quiet. Being a stay at home mom who runs a brand new business is hard. But you already knew that. Finding moments to work and choosing to work instead of resting or catching your breath is hard. If you were to peak in my house you wouldn’t see a whole lot. I sit with my baby and we play with blocks and other plastic things, I tickle her, squeeze her, talk to her, then sneak a few minutes on my phone, come back and repeat. When she naps I have to make a choice, furiously work through a pressing task for PWR WMN….or watch bravo and RELAX. Literally SHUT DOWN. I won’t lie and honestly I’m not ashamed of saying this, SOMETIMES I CHOOSE TO RELAX. AND THAT’S OK BECAUSE I DESERVE IT AND I AM TIRED. I put that sentence in all caps because I am yelling. Yelling at myself so I’ll hear that I need to accept to relax and because yes, sometimes I feel shame in doing so. Society has us wired to think we need to constantly be doing something to be of value. But maybe that’s not true. Maybe just sitting with my baby is enough. Because she can feel that I care and love her and because I'm THERE. Same with my company. I don’t have to constantly be producing, designing, or organizing to be of value to my company. My best ideas have come from just sitting in front of the T.V. or walking around and seeing something that sparked my interest enough to follow the thread. In fact, most of the events we have gone to that have allowed us to build our presence, I have found by mindlessly scrolling through instagram. So my advice to you during this quarantine is that I have no advice. I don’t know what I am doing. I just started being a mom and I just started being a business owner. But what I am going to work on is not being ashamed of my down moments. The moments when I want to watch tv, or scroll through my phone, I am a human being and therefore I am of value, period. Regardless of whether or not I’m producing. So, if you’re at home and you haven’t worked a lot because it feels impossible and time is no longer a thing you can measure and your kids are running wild... run wild with them or go take a nap or open a bottle of wine, OR JUST SIT THERE. Quit trying to be everything. You’re not, and that’s ok.